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Deez and Doz....
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By Ron Richards
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Get the tomatoes ready, stockpile on the
rotten cabbages and apples. Please leave the
coconuts at home. They hurt.
I'm a gonna throw out a couple of ideas, and
I can hear the groans now. I don't blame you
at all. Give me a couple of hours to think
about what I'm proposing, and I might start
throwing a few.....At the mirror, I guess.
We need a defensive center, and passed on
DeVon Hardin in the second round, to draft a
promising offensive center, albeit the
skinniest bag of bones these old eyes have
seen in quite a while.
So.....If I was even thinking of drafting
Hardin as a defensive specialist, that's
code for he needs to dunk to even have a
prayer of scoring points......
Then....Let's sign this guy!
Gulp.
Gasp.
Wheeze.
Shut my eyes and hope I don't get kicked off
the board.
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKwwwwaaaaaammmmmmeeeeeeee
BBBBBBBrrrrrrooooowwwwwwnnnnnn. I couldn't
even say it, much less think about actually
signing the guy. Why would I even consider
it? Well, for one thing, KOC is having much
the same thoughts. There is a reason, though
the thought is mindboggling in the extreme.
He can play defense. He can block shots.
He's about 7 foot tall, and 270 lbs, and can
actually run down the court when he feels
like it without falling down.
Like my friend Dutz said just recently,
here's a wonderful athlete who's been thrown
to the wolves and whatever talent he
possesses has been systematically destroyed,
his confidence shattered, his pride
evaporated and shriveled, and to top it all,
he's been the butt of all the jokes about
the new Clippers of the NBA, the Memphis
Grizzlies.
First of all, the team's name has to go.
There are no Grizz anywhere near Memphis,
ole' Davy shot them all two hunnert years
ago, after staring them in the eye and
pinching their noses. To top it off, Koala
Bears is more appropriate and topical for
this putz of a team that trades away one of
the best players in the league
for.....Oh....Yeah.....Kwwwwwwammmeeee
Brown. You get the idea.
But....Ssshhhh! Listen close! He's seven
feet tall! He's athletic! He can block
shots, unlike a certain ex-Stanford twin
with zero athleticism and wobbly knees on
the Jazz team!
Hell, he had several games where he blocked
four or more shots last year! He collected
lots of rebounds, played some decent
defense, and shot under 50% from the foul
line! THAT'S SHAQ TERRITORY!
Will he turn it all around, vindicate MJ for
picking him #1?
No. Hell, no!
Could he give the Jazz some minutes?
Yes.
From the tidbits I've heard floating around,
he's confused, not a bad guy, just some
schmuck wondering what truck ran him over,
and what direction am I supposed to head
now?
Maybe....Take some small steps. Play a minor
role for a team like the Jazz, get some
confidence back, have a coach who won't take
anything less than the best you've got to
give, but also is honest and up front with
you.
So you know where you stand.
So you know what you have to do.
So you know which direction is up, and
that's exactly what Kwame needs.
For someone in his position, the only way is
up. There is nowhere left to go, and be any
kind of an NBA player.
He doesn't need money, or shouldn't need
money, he's made quite a bit of it, and he's
only 26.
He needs a direction, the Jazz need a
defensive bit player for a minor role in
their next season. It sounds like a marriage
made in Hollywood.
Listen, if you guys can propose a trade for
Stephen Hunter, Dan Gadzuric, Lorenzo
Wright, and some of the other losers
masquerading as 'defensive centers'..HAH!
Why not Kwame? He won't be expensive, he
might be grateful that someone wants him,
and if that's Jerry Sloan, who's about as
respected as anyone in the NBA, it just
might kickstart him into playing a role on a
good team, and earning his self respect
back.
Sure, he's had chances. The Lakers coddled
him, abandoned him for Andrew Bynum, and the
Laker fans were about as cruel with him as
any fan base could be, booing him for just
about anything he did, or didn't do.
He probably won't work out. Does a man with
thirty million in the bank really care? I
don't know.
It might be worth a shot. Sure, I feel sorry
for him, as much as you can feel sorry for
someone with all that money and a lifetime
ahead of you.
There are other things than money, things
that money can't buy, things that only a
hard day's work and sweat on your brow and a
nod from a team-mate or a clap on the back
can heal and make right.
So get the veggies ready. I'm standing still
right in front of you.
Those of you who've never made a mistake can
throw the first cabbage.
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