We've all played April Fools on friends. You know,
whoopie cushions, prank calls, posing as a 32 year old man when
you're really an 18 year old girl...
So, what was the secret to my success? It was very simple. I was
vague. I just let people assume that I was a man because we all know
that girls don't watch sports--especially teenaged girls. I observed
the rant for a while, tried to separate the intelligent fans from
the bashers, and posted. For some reason, I was invited to play in
the fantasy league. That was a huge surprise because I don't think I
ever even talked about basketball. (Probably part of why I was
asked...they wanted to play someone easy.) Since I had (and still
have) nothing better to do than talk to older men on the internet, I
said sure.
This is where it got interesting. It seems that I give alcohol to
minor cats, cigarettes to squirrels, not to mention the sheep...I
was having a great time. The problem was that we were talking much
more, and I kept giving myself away. Luckily, my real name is
Jamie-could be a girl, could be a boy. I tried not to lie, just
mislead, and my name was a nice asset to have.
I was trying to decide when, how, or even if I wanted to tell anyone
that I was a girl when D0C tried to set me up with a girl he knows;
I had to draw the line there. His reply was, "That makes sense. You
were a wuss for a boy." So, the next time I talked to not_me and
superjazzfan, I told them too. (I would have told viny, but he
wasn't there.) League members might remember a private message
mistake. That was actually about my being a girl, not a teenager. We
decided that we would wait until I beat a couple of the teams in the
league and then tell everyone else. Unfortunately, my team winning a
game didn't look too promising.
A few injuries and animal abuses later, my team was competing for
the lead in the Eastern Conference, and it was time for me to "come
out of the closet." The plan was for D0C to ask about my girlfriend,
and I would reply that I wasn't into girls. Then, we waited...no
reaction. After a couple days, we got bored, and I just posted it in
a thank you to VINYLJUNKIE. Even though my team sucked, I squeaked
into the Finals where I lost convincingly to MVP-34.
The hardest part of my whole cherade was holding back my laughter
long enough to reply. I was asked about my "wife" more than once,
and after everyone knew I was a teenager, I was asked questions like
whether or not I had a girl with me. Before I found NBATalk, I
didn't know any Jazz fans, but I always said that we were the best.
Now I have proof.
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