I recently used the old metaphor of the blind men feeling
the different parts of the elephant in an article, where
each blind man thought the elephant was something entirely
different depending on which part of the elephant he
touched.
My friends, colleagues, and fellow Jazz nuts and
fruitcakes...(nothing personal)....The elephant lives in
Salt Lake City, his name is the Jazz, and we’re the blind
men.
Hand me my cane, please.
I’ve been staring this conundrum and contradiction in the
proverbial face for almost two years now, metaphorically
speaking, and I am only recently beginning to realize that
the huge rock in front of me is really the elephant’s
belly. Yes, I am not the brightest knife or the sharpest
bulb as a friend once suggested, and yes, there is a
reason I’m not the Jazz GM, besides my movie star looks
going wasted in that position!
Having turned down the role for ‘Elephant Man’(no makeup
necessary), I realized I was destined for other things.
But that’s another long, stultifying story that has no
bearing whatsoever on this rampage of reason I’m laying
down before you in pretty pastel paving stones. And why
isn’t the Emerald Highway green? I’ve always
wondered...............
Ouch! Let go of my arm! I’ll tell you!
Since you twisted my arm, and I was going to tell you
anyway, you brute, here is the meat of the concoction, the
heart of the beast, and the pit of the peach. That does
have a certain ring to it, doesn’t it? Pit of the Peach?
Sometimes........
Guess what? You can only put five basketball players on
the floor at the same time.
Ok, sit down. I know it’s a stunning, stupefying
revelation that should only be revealed in the comfy
confines of you own cocoon, but if you’re not where you
can retreat into a neonatal position that really makes you
feel secure, I apologize. Well, not really.You see, there
has to come a time when we (as Jazz fans), and they (as
Jazz Brass), grow up, realize what life is all about, and
come to grips with reality.
We goofed. All of us.
It was well intentioned. It was an act committed with a
clear conscience and a noble brow. We still goofed.
Fluffed. Whiffed. And yes, fizzled. In our excitement of
realizing the free agent dream, we touched two coups of
unprecedented precedence.
We signed the same guy twice. Oh, one guy is a little
shorter and built like the hulk. The other guy is taller,
skinnier, and doesn’t know he shouldn’t be one of the best
long range bombers in the NBA. They both can rebound with
the best of them. They both score about twenty points and
pull down about ten rebounds, give or take a couple of the
aforementioned. Oh, one guy likes to wear painter’s
clothes and do the dirty deed up close to the basket. The
other guy has a golden touch from just about anywhere this
side of Winnemucca, and looks like a stork with a wing
tied behind his back and a spiral fracture of the tibia
when he drives to the hoop. He still gets the job done. So
does the other guy. So what’s the problem, you might ask?
And sadly, it’s about time you did ask that question. And
no, I don’t really have an answer to that question. I have
some ideas. They are not easily explained, nor do they
make me feel good. In fact, the whole subject makes me
queasy and uncomfortable.
The simplest answer is that one of them should go. It’s
logical. There aren’t enough minutes at the four spot for
both of them. Last year Boozer played the center spot, out
of position, and the Jazz went with their five best
players and almost made the playoffs. Two players were
playing out of position, but it almost worked, we played
our best basketball, and at times looked great. At other
times, we looked like a defensive disaster of
unprecedented dimension. Mediocre NBA players were going
to the hoop looking like Mike. Did I ever tell you I
really got tired of Mike? I dreamed of being a center on
the Jazz and just laying the wood to Mike. Send him into
the tenth row. Bleeding and bruised. I’m sure I was
smiling in my dreams like my doggie barks in his. Tough
guy. I’m tough too. In my dreams.
I would guess you realize I don’t think the Boozer at the
center answer is really an answer. It’s not. It does work
for small stretches of time, and therein may lie another
answer to the dilemma.
We could go with both of them, juggle their playing time
so that both weren’t on the floor at the same time as much
as possible.
I’m convinced the Jazz will go for a big man if that big
man is available in the draft. If, and it’s a big if, that
big man they want is still there, is what they want, and
most of all, is a defensive presence in the middle. A shot
blocker, the mountain in the middle, the end all and be
all and the final say. No.......... No one scores on the
Jazz in the middle. Not unless it’s over several dead
bodies, one of them with a thousand dollar suit and
distinguished gray hair and a slightly crooked nose that’s
been broken more times than Aunt Matilda’s cookie jar with
thirty grandchildren clamoring for freshly baked chocolate
chip goodies.
So then, if the Jazz draft that big man.......And he’s taking time in
the middle, blocking shots, rebounding, imposing his will
on the paint, what happens to Booz and Memo? Where do they
play AK? Giri? Once again, the Jazz could juggle.
Six balls with two hands. Not impossible, but it’s not
easy.
Or....and this is where it get’s painful. We could trade
one of them for Brandon Roy, just as an example. I
mentioned that before, and someone snickered at the idea,
that we could trade a twenty-ten guy who’s only
twenty-four years old for a draft pick. Unless it’s Tim
Duncan, LeBron James, or Greg Oden, if someone offers me
one of the five best power forwards in the game for
someone who might not be as advertised, still
unproven........If I was a GM and didn’t jump on it, I’d
be crazy. I should be set against the blood soaked bullet
ridden wall and shot on the spot. Because all draft
choices are a gamble. Every single one of them. Carlos
Boozer is a proven veteran, who’s healthy once more, and
has ten years left on his career. In fact, I’d want more
than Brandon Roy. Boozer is worth that much.
And therein lies the problem. Both Boozer and Memo are
very valuable players who the Jazz like having on their
team. Just not at the same time. If Memo was a better
defensive center, then we wouldn’t be having this
discussion. He’s not, and never will be. He actually
improved defensively during the last two years, and he’s
durable. He can play minutes at the center, and sometimes
the words Booz and Memo in the same lineup are compatible.
He is not the inside presence that Boozer can be. Booz is
a monster in the paint. He isn’t the deep threat that Memo
is, and Memo can take big men outside and play on their
weaknesses. So they do compliment each other, but.........
There are so many nuances and smoke drifting around the
Jazz camp this year. If we draft this guy, we make these
changes.........If we draft a shooter, then we try to sign
a defensive player in the middle.....It makes your head
spin, your stomach queasy, and I find myself looking at
rosters and mock draft boards until the wee hours of the
morning. So my question is........If the Jazz draft
someone like Sene, and he’s the real deal, then what? Who
gets minutes, who gets traded, who should be traded, why
is the sky blue, why aren’t I rich and famous? Ok, I know
the answer to that last question, but this is not an easy
problem, and there are no easy answers. It’s a little like
a young girl deciding on whom to marry. Sometimes it’s
love at first sight and it’s so easy. Sometimes it’s
heartbreak city and ten years later you find out you made
the wrong decision.
What do I think?
Nothing needs to be addressed or solved until the draft.
The whole question may be mute because the defensive
center may not be there, or the Jazz may not think he’s
the real deal. But if Sene’s the real deal and the Jazz
are sold on him, they think they’re going to get him, then
one of the big guys should go. It will hurt, but if you’re
going to get something worthwhile in the draft or in
trades, you have to pay for it. Teams aren’t going to
trade value for nothing. That’s nice to think it may
happen, but reality is cruel and heartless. So is
business, and when it comes down to it, so is life.
I think it’s time the Jazz realized that Memo and Booz are
the same person, the same player, wearing slightly
different clothes. The Jazz might have to live with it
because of circumstance, make the best of it, but ideally
the Jazz should take the necessary steps to rectify the
situation.
A lineup of Deron Williams, Jeff Hornacek, Andre
Kirilenkov, Mark Eaton, and Memo Okur(or Carlos
Boozer).......That lineup along with a stronger bench wins
a whole lot of games and fights for the championship every
year. For Jeff Hornacek substitute Brandon Roy, for Mark
Eaton substitute Sene. If they’re as good at what they do
as the former, then folks, we’re tiptoeing through the
roses and grinning like idiots the whole time. If they’re
better.....size the rings and get ready for the party
after the championships.
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