from the Rocky Mountain Review Move Over, Edgar by Ron Richards On a midsummer’s night so dark and dreary, The scribe reclined, so worn and weary, Why the hell am I here, said he, Another horrible team again, quote he, Said the Maven, Nevermore. For twenty minutes so bleak and dank, And yes, indeed, the Jazz really stank, It’s not my team with Jazz on the uni, On a midsummer’s night so gross and looney, Said the Maven, Nevermore. And then to my surprise and awe, A Phoenix arose from the arena’s maw, And suddenly reborn a team so great, Sharpen a pen, smile, never hesitate, Said the Maven, Nevermore. Victory snatched from defeat intolerable, Goodness triumphs over foe so horrible, Never again my soul to keep, To sleep, and dream free, sans defeat, Said the Maven, Nevermore. My soul was so dark after that first half and a quarter that Edgar Allen’s prose was blithely running through my consciousness........ Sanity was on the cusp, my soul was at stake, and my butt was getting really sore. I think I fell asleep ‘cause there surely wasn’t a game to watch. I was wondering what to write, because it’s hard to write about nothing. And that’s being generous. In all the games, in all the Revues, that these tired eyes have watched and suffered through, this might have been the worst team playing the sleaziest game at the lowest level with the least interest for the most effect. The Jazz were horrible. Not just bad, because that term signifies that they might have been good, a yin and yang, black and white, at some time, somewhere, anywhere, in the past. Nope. They were atrocious, unredeemable, and unforgivable. Then the second quarter started and it went downhill from there. By the time the third quarter was over, I was questioning my sanity at submitting my fragile psyche to this sort of freakish punishment. The game was seriously deficient in redeeming qualities of any kind. Even Ronnie Brewer looked like a steak was cooking at home and mommie was calling.....Ronnie....Dinnertime.....At one time, somewhere in the third quarter, the Jazz were down by 16. Then Scott Layden, Frank Jr., had a brainstorm He put in the best players on the Jazz team at the same time! Gee........... Ronnie, Dee, Paul, CJ and whomever, because that other position defies description due to lack of any talent whatsoever, actually played at the same time. It worked. Dee brought the ball up, Ronnie and CJ ran their patterns, the Jazz scored and played defense, and the sun came out from behind the clouds and my boney butt stopped hurting. Life was good. Ronnie scored eight points in a run that was marvelous to watch. CJ made a brilliant steal, crossed over from right to left and went to his strong hand, his left hand, and spun a little golden reverse shot in from the left side and got fouled. Sunk the free throw. We were on our way, and it was good. The Jazz kept running CJ and Ronnie in a circle route across the baseline and executed the Harpring curl to perfection. Ronnie’s defender, if hanging on for dear life constitutes defense, looked like he wanted his mother to start calling......dinnertime... The Jazz stole the ball, Paul ran the floor like....Karl....and slammed home a left hand jam and the place went crazy. I looked up a little while later, and there was thirty seconds or so, the Jazz were down 73-72, and sure enough, they ran a play for Ronnie on that curl, he went to the hole.....Two. We’re up 74-73. Jose Barea then ran the length of the floor and hit a difficult runner over good defense from Dee, and the Mavs were up by one. The Jazz called time out, took the ball out at half court, and ran a play for...Ronnie. Executed perfectly, Ronnie went to the hole from the left side of the court, covering yards with his feet, and with about a second and half threw up a prayer that missed the basket, but Paul came out of nowhere, he’s particularly good at that, and caught the ball in both hands above the basket and laid it in softly at the buzzer. Jazz win. Refs waved it off, of course, in a decision that was typical of a poorly refereed game, then changed the call when the video showed the tip was good.' My butt didn’t hurt, the sun was shining somewhere in the world, and the crowd went crazy. I listened to Scotty Laden at the post game interview. Scotty admitted that the Jazz didn’t always play the best combinations because they were evaluating players, and that makes sense. He mentioned that Paul was rebounding at a pace of one board for every three minutes, which is exceptional, and very few players can do it. Paul can. He mentioned that one of the best ways to evaluate a player is to look at his field goal percentage, and Ronnie was shooting sixty-seven percent before the game. Ronnie had a bad night shooting, and only shot 10-18, for twenty-four with three for seven from the line. Ronnie really did have a rough night shooting, as his shot was off. What is he going to do when it’s on? And the Jazz need him to score? The kid can score. Dee, CJ, Ronnie and Paul all played very well, exceptionally well, in that last quarter. Scotty Laden also noted that all three of their draft choices were in the game at the same time when they made a run. Ok, that’s........Brilliant. All was not rosy. Haffa really struggled, losing ball after ball on spin moves and fumbled passes. At one time he picked a ball up and looked at it as if wondering what it was. Dribbled it a little, like...Ok...I remember this....I can do this..... I’ve mentioned that the scrubs on the Jazz team are...scrubs....and in reality unbelievably talented. Just not on an NBA level. I would be stunned if anyone but Dee, CJ, Ronnie, Paul and Haffa make the team. Haffa will make it because they’re committing some time to see if he can get it back from wherever it’s been. I hope so, because he’s a physical wonder, strong as an ox, who could help the Jazz if he remembers how to play basketball. I was encouraged with Dee’s play tonight. There were some good moments in the fourth quarter. Ronnie is....Ronnie. CJ came through after sleepwalking the first three quarters, and came up big. Paul will play a lot this year, and surprise a lot of people. He’s one of those second rounder's who slip through the process. He’s a steal. With all my kidding about Scotty, he coached a very good game when it counted, used his players well with limited talent aside from the top four. I have to mention this. Dallas has a very deep team and there is talent on their extended roster, so much so that they won’t play for the regular team this year. DJ Mbenga would be a nice pickup if we could work a deal. There is a player with local ties on the Mavs, who is coming back from a very serious broken hand last season. He’s struggled with his shot, but has shown a lot of guts, raw athletic ability and doesn’t know the meaning of quit. His dad played briefly with the Jazz. He’s trying to make a roster, having played with the Heat summer camp, and now the Mavs. If he was playing for the Jazz, he would probably make the team. His name is Jackson Vroman, and I’d take him over Jarron Collins, and Whaley isn’t in the same ball park, or court, or playground.......... Any day, and every night. He’s a little skinny for the center position, but is a fighter from the word go. Doesn’t have a world of talent, but makes up for it with hustle and hard work. The Jazz could do worse. Sleep well, Jazz fans. All is not lost.